Out
of my country
I
find that I have become good at pretending since I moved to Chicago six months ago.
Every time my grandmother calls me and asks how my life is going in Chicago, I
always have a single answer. I tell her that I feel everything is good here and
I have adapted to the life here rapidly. I have also lied to her. In fact, I
think that it is hard for a person to adapt to and accept everything in a new
country in such a short time, especially for a person like me who had lived in
one country for more than twenty years and never went abroad. It is difficult
for me to put aside my previous customs and accept a new lifestyle in a new
country.
This
year is my first time that have not celebrated Chinese traditional festival in
China, like Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, and the most important
festival-Chinese New Year. In China, people have different greeting phrases to
celebrate each festival. For example, we do not say “Happy Dragon Boat Festival.”
Instead, we say “Duan Wu An Kang” because the history behind this festival is
not happy. In addition, during Chinese New Year, it is not enough to just say
“Happy New Year” to give others a sincere wish. People always say more phrases
like “gong xi fa cai” and “wang shi ru yi.” However, because of the language
barrier and cultural differences, I don’t know how to explain the meaning of
these wishes. Even though I can use a translator to translate these phrases, I
think their meanings are similar but not identical. For example, the Chinese
phrase “gong xi fa cai” is literately translated into “congratulations and hope
people be rich”. In fact, it not only just wishes someone wealth, but it also implies
some wishes like good luck and success in all parts of life. I am tired of
explaining some cultural things. People cannot deeply understand the history or
real meaning of these. The lack of the same feeling as other people makes me
lost in translation.
Having
a life in Chicago is not as bad as I imagined. Perhaps it is because of a very
different history or culture influence, I think the attitude towards life in
the United States is different from China. The greeting method of many Americans
is passionate and enthusiastic. For many Americans, hugging is a common form of
greeting or showing love, especially among friends and family. It is like a
warm and friendly gesture. Americans hug to show care, love, or happiness when
they meet each other. Because of the cultural difference and social custom, the
way of expressing emotions may be more indirect and restrained in China. Chinese
people often keep their emotions more private. We sometimes just nod, smile,
and shake hands when we meet others. I seldom hug my friends when we meet each
other, even if we haven’t seen each other for a long time and miss each other
very much. I think getting a hug from friends or family must be a warm thing. What’s
more, saying I love you is very easy for Americans. They are very
willing to express their love to their family and friends. I never say I
love you to my parents, neither do my parents. I am shy to express love to
them directly. Maybe my parents also think so. We prefer to convey love through
actions rather than words. Nevertheless, I really like the way that Americans
can express their love bravely and in a straightforward manner. Sometimes, even
if actions make people feel warm, the word I love you can strike
people's hearts more directly.
The
culture is definitely different between the United States and China. As a
Chinese person, it might be a rough time for me to accept the lifestyle here. However,
I clearly know that if I want to participate in life here, I have to try to accept
some new thing. I cannot change other things. The only one thing I can do is
change myself. Most Chinese immigrants tell me that time would help me to adapt
everything here. Time is always the best medicine.
Just like Americans, I think that it is time for you to say " I love you" to your parents and it's never to late. Who knows? Maybe they'll be Happy to hear it. In my opinion, you don't have to change yourself. You will adapt your by staying You and of course it will probably take time!!
ReplyDeleteI understand your way to express your love towards your parents and friends because I don't really say "I love you" either, but I think I am pretty good at showing that I love them without being forced to say it. It's part of your culture.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you are saying, but at least, since there is a big neighborhood called Chinatown where everyone shares your culture and language, you can experience many traditional festivities over there. Have you ever tried them?
ReplyDelete"I love you" is like kind of missing word to say among family. I have never said it to my parents neither. I would be the great things to say to our parents, but it is really hard to say that and feel like weird. The love came through from actions, so I know my parents love me. And I bet you do too.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I love about the mandarin is the fact that each character signifies something or many things. The language is so in-depth and detailed with many branches I find that fascinating
ReplyDeleteIt's so true that Americans express love very physically, I hate that 😂😭 because I am not a touchy person and I don't really like to be touched. In addition, I think your language and your culture are so deep in meaning and that is very fascinating.
ReplyDeleteThis is also the first year that I don’t celebrate the New Year with my family. Personally, I'm not too crazy about New Year's celebrations, but the one thing I do feel is missing this year is my wallet being empty—since I didn’t get any pokey money from my elders!
ReplyDelete